Water pollution
Water is the prime element responsible for life on earth. It covers two thirds of the earth's surface .also the human body consists of 75% of it. In the body it regulates fluids cells and blood, and other activities .so, without water there is no life.
Because of the recent developed technology, our water has become in danger. There are many reasons for this. Firstly, farmers use chemicals to kill bugs, fight diseases and enhance the growth of their crops. These chemicals run into lakes or rivers and cause water pollution. Secondly, oceans are polluted by oil spilled from ships. Thirdly, sewages and wastewater are another factor of polluting water, as in Egypt
Resulting from the previously mentioned reasons of water pollution, our environment and health have been affected. The food chain is damaged, as humans eat the infective meat of the animals in polluted water. Also many infectious diseases can be contracted from drinking contaminated water. The infection of water can also alter the temperature of water and cause a large number of marine animals to die.
As the water is an essential factor in our life, and as being responsible for this crisis, we should find an urgent solution for the problem. For example farmers have to use safe materials to irrigate and treat their crops. The government should prevent factories and ships from dropping any wastes into the sea and make them pay fines if they don't. Sewages also have to be treated rather than dropping it into water. Using an ozone generator to break down pollutants in the water source would be very helpful to solve the problem too.
To conclude, water is very important in our life, so we should take good care of it. We should look for the reason how it is polluted, and find solutions to solve them. Then we have to gather our efforts to prevent the problem from happening again.
Wafaa, I read your draft, it is very good. The organization of your essay is very good . the content of the essay is sufficient. the conclusion and the introduction are good.
ردحذفBut I want you to take care of:1. Capitalization ( some words at the beggining of sentences are not capitalized)
2. Some vocabulary are inappropriate
I want you to read your draft with a teacher's eye and try to correct it and send the comments
you suggest for improving the draft to the weblog. Also, I will ask some of your friends to read your draft and send you comments and suggestions. when you read your draft you can make use of the editing checklist that I added as a link in the class weblog.
hello Wafaa I read your essay it is really excellent one. It is very interesting
ردحذفyour essay is so amazing
ردحذفi wait for more wafaa
Nice essay. I like your essay Fofa. I hope you the best in shaa Allah.
ردحذفthank you dr. samah i will consider your helpful instructions and i promis you a better job next times.
ردحذفWater is the prime element responsible for life on earth. It covers two thirds of the earth's surface .also (Also) the human body consists of 75% of it. In the body it regulates fluids cells and blood, and other activities .so (So), without water there is no life.
ردحذفBecause of the recent developed technology, our water has become in danger. There are many reasons for this. Firstly, farmers use chemicals to kill bugs, fight diseases and enhance the growth of their crops. These chemicals run into lakes or rivers and cause water pollution. Secondly, oceans are polluted by oil spilled from ships. Thirdly, sewages and wastewater are another factor of polluting water, as in Egypt and other countries the best way to get rid of them is by dropping them in seas, rivers and lakes. Fourthly, the dumping litters in the sea which pollutes water and causes the death of marine animals (I don’t understand this sentence, try to make it easier).
Resulting from the previously mentioned reasons of water pollution, our environment and health have been affected. The food chain is damaged, as humans eat the infective (what does this word mean?, try to use simpler word) meat of the (omit "the") animals in polluted water. Also many infectious diseases can be contracted from drinking contaminated water. The infection of water can also alter the temperature of water and cause a large number of marine animals to die.
As the water is an essential factor in our life, and as being responsible for this crisis, we should find an urgent solution for the problem. For example farmers have to use safe materials to irrigate and treat their crops. The government should prevent factories and ships from dropping any wastes into the sea and make them pay fines if they don't. Sewages also have to be treated rather than dropping it into water. Using an ozone generator to break down pollutants in the water source would be very helpful to solve the problem too.
To conclude, water is very important in our life, so we should take (a) good care of it. We should look for the reason(s) how it is polluted, and find solutions to solve them. Then we have to gather our efforts to prevent the problem from happening again.
Dear Fo2a
ردحذفyou have done an intersting work, the essay has a specific purpose.It has an attractive introduction and well developed pragraphs. In addition,there are specific parts whic I found it marvellous like(Because of the recent developed technology, Resulting from the previously mentioned reasons of water pollution, our environment and health have been affected).
But you have to check the punctuation like ).also )(.so) use cpital letters.
All in all, God bless you
I find it very interesting, i like the idea.
ردحذفThe words is expressive,and easy to understand.
It's agood essay, but take care of punctuation
well organised essay wafaa despite a little mistakes
ردحذفbut as a whole it is excellent